Dine With Me At My Table

Dine with me at my table

In this house so humble

Come inside rich or poor

All will be welcome for sure

God's bounty has plenty to give
Jesus loves you, do not grieve
Share joyfully in this gathering
Accept faithfully His offering

Are you feeling happy or sad
Have you been good or bad
Let God soothe you from pain
Cast your sorrows, joys regain

A Life Without Love

What would I do with a life without love?
Will I beg for some from people I see?
Or will I wait for a blessing from above
Until I come to a sweet term with thee

What would I do with a life without love?
Tomorrow will be bleak without you
Shall I wait for a kiss from a dove?
To find quiet peace where it is due

What would I do with a life without love?
Endless promises without meaning
How many sleepless nights should I have?
Before this poor heart can truly sing

If I Could But See Tomorrow

If I could but see tomorrow
Will it be days with you?
Free from all of today's sorrow
Full of happiness for a hope anew

If I could but see tomorrow
Today will be full of promise
No need for my song to borrow
Content with love from your kiss

If I could but see tomorrow
Pain will be gone from my heart
From a walk through a path so narrow
From all uncertainties, do depart

By Carmen H. Uy
Sept. 22, 2009

My Health

I was feeling very weak and drowsy this past week that I decided to have my blood tested. It is not yet time for my monthly injection of Riccormone that corrects the red blood cell level but already I was feeling dizzy, a sign of low hemoglobin and red blood cell. The result yielded a hemoglobin level of 86, par below the normal value 122 to 162. So, I had myself injected with the medicine that corrects the level. It will take sometime before I will feel strong again. I still try to run errands despite feeling weak like buying groceries and medicines because all our purchases are through credit cards and I have to sign for them. I just try to be very careful and walk real slow. I am just worried that the intervals that I would need injection is becoming shorter. It has been a while since I saw my hematologist. I just subject myself to monthly injection by a friend doctor following the hematologist's prescription as maintenance. I think I should see her soon.
After several years of monthly maintenance my real illness is not yet determined. There is no need for me to determine my illness, as long as I know it is not leukemia.

The Religious Life

We are so lucky in our subdivision to be surrounded by dwelling places of priests and nuns. Whenever I wake up before 6:00 AM in the morning, I try to go to daily mass at the chapel inside the Santa Rafaela Maria House of Spirituality, just within walking distance from our house, run by nuns residing in that compound. For Sunday masses, we go to hear mass at the multi-purpose hall of our subdivision, with the mass being celebrated alternately by three priests residing inside our subdivision, the Spring Of Carmel. With them around, I am always reminded of the presence of Jesus.

Whenever I have the opportunity, I always lead my grand daughter Tiara to the Catholic Faith. We already succeeded in convincing her to go to Sunday Masses. Thankfully, my son share the same views with me regarding sending her to Catholic School.

Last Saturday was Tiara's ninth birthday. The party was very successful without a single drop of rain despite the fact that May is a month with the onset of rains and typhoons. And this is because we prayed for it. The Saturday before May 23, after fetching Tiara from their house (she spends her weekends with us, myself, my husband and Archie her father) we went to the monastery of Santa Clara, were we laid offerings for the nuns to pray to Santa Clara for a successful party for Tiara and that there would be no rain on that day. Each of us wrote separate petitions on a piece of paper, placed the offerings within the folded paper, and dropped it in the petition box. And true enough, our prayers were granted.

I have a fascination with the religious life and I passed the stage in my high school years when I wanted to become a nun. My father, being a Seventh Day Adventist vehemently contradicted when I told him about my desire. Well, it was not God's Will. I will definitely love it when one of my would-be grand children choose the religious life. I will realize my dream through them.

Infatuation

Infatuation
Just attraction
Will not last
Often becomes a past
No regrets we have met
My future you did truly set
Together you and I are not meant
Another one God has from above sent


Written by: Carmen H. Uy

Opening Prayer For A Bible Study

Two days ago, May 12, we had our Bible Study in our house. I hosted it at the carport so as not to disturb my husband Arturo who is sick with cancer of the tongue. There were only four who attended, who are all my neighbors, since some members had outside commitments. Also, our shepherd, Father Blanco did not attend because we were only few and because he could not bring theologians from their seminary to accompany him. The previous day I asked a new member to write the opening prayers for our Bible study since I was not feeling well. Also, on the night we had our Bible study, I asked him to moderate or lead it. But since the members were more interested in discussing the affairs of our subdivision, we ended up feasting on the snacks and discussing problems we have within the subdivision. The reason I am writing this is I found the prayers very inspiring and I want to share it with my readers.


PRAYER
Bible Sharing Group
May 12, 2009

Bless us with Your Spirit, Lord, as we gather once again to reflect on Your Word. The Gospel reading tonight is about selfless love. Help us to understand the meaning of the word "love" as exemplified by Your "dying to yourself that we may live forever." As Fr. Daniel Mahan said in his reflection of this coming Sunday's gospel: "Yours is the greatest love the world has ever known. May we learn to share Your love with others. In so doing, we may bear in abundance the fruit of charity and mercy."

Lord, thank you for the gift of life and the blessing to be among those who know that You are the Son of God.

Lord, we ask for Your mercy for Arturo, and for all our friends, relatives and neighbors who are sick. Touch them with your healing power.

And as we part ways tonight, may your grace of charity and mercy accompany us in our day to day lives.

We ask all these, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.


Prayer written by JT,

Blogger's note: I am calling him JT first because he has not granted me full permision to publish his name yet.

I Have But One Life To Live

I have but one life to live

My remaining days to you I give

Never wanting any other

You alone will be my lover

Ever since we did get married

No other one in my heart I carried

The love I feel for you gets stronger

As we plan our tomorrows together

I know we feel the same way

As we spend together each day

Being always with you as my wish

All moments with you I relish

I pray that there is no end

Days with you the Lord will lend

Happiness with you I treasure

A feeling of love so pure

I have but one life to live

My remaining days to you I give

Offering a love for you alone

Fruit that your presence have sown

By Carmen H. Uy

There Is Faith

When a child lets his mother kiss his wound
to make it heal pretty soon,
or when an old lady crossing the street
hangs on to the hand offered by a stranger,
there is faith.

When a boy leaves a note for Santa
beneath the Christmas tree,
or when a girl scout knocks at your door
to sell cookies,
there is faith

When a poet writes a poem praising God
thru his verses,
or when a singer performs
hoping to capture an audience,
There is faith....
And in simple things around within our reach

Portrait Of Jesus

In one of the blogs I posted before, I mentioned of painting Holy images. I painted the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary before in my inspired moods, and with my hands not shaking. I also asked another artist to paint another portrait of Jesus. I brought it to the Christ The King Seminary Store at E. Rodriguez around three weeks ago. I was a little disappointed with the one in charge of the consignments because she kept on repeating very expensive even though I priced it very low already. So we ended up with my labor for the two paintings costed at less than the minimum wage and not a single centavo profit with the other painting done by the other artist. I left it with them just the same.

When I sold two paintings recently, not mine and to be picked up next week by the buyer, I was thinking of advertising at Ebay the paintings under consignment at the seminary since my Ebay stocks is running low. I cannot use the money I will earn at Ebay to buy new stocks since it will be allocated for another expense. So I planned on pulling out the paintings and went there. I already told the lady who approached me that I will be pulling out the paintings and I was directed to a corner. And behold, there were the paintings displayed prominently among the garments of the priests looking so holy especially the portrait of Jesus done by the other artist. I felt that the three paintings have found their home and told them I will not pull them out anymore and to just call me up if they think I have to pull them out already. They told me it is up to me when I want to pull them out. I am inspired to paint Holy images again even though it does not pay well. Blessings will come in other ways.

Another Dream To Reach For

I posted a poem at fanstory.com and I got a good review from another member who is also a music composer. As I gathered from her profile, she started attending music composition in a school at the age of 46 and started her career from there. I don't intend to compose music myself being always off-key when singing but at least I can try to write some lyrics for my son Archie to start with. He won the song composition contest, first prize, in their school during college at Ateneo, with Jose Mari Chan, a leading Filipino composer as one of the judges. Archie can give melody to the lyrics I write and if fate is on our side, he can try to sing it at Party Avenue, a bar near Timog where he performs solo every Wednesday. So for two nights I wrote lyrics for thirteen songs without sleep. I showed it to him and he liked the themes of two of them but he says that I have to improve on the structure. He advised that I listen more to music to have the feel of it. I have not been listening to music for sometime now. It is not yet too late to start. Well another dream for a willing heart.

Unlucky Day

Today is not my day! It is my unlucky day. I advertised the collection of paintings I have at home and what do you know? The telephone broke down the first thing in the morning. I reported it to PLDT at 8:30 AM and followed it up two times but nothing happened. No lineman appeared the whole day. I had to pay 208 php to Manila Bulletin to place the advertisement and nothing happened. It was not the money but the disappointment I suffered after anticipating for so many days for the possible patrons who could have called up after reading the ad and visiting my website. Now I have to wait two weeks before I can advertise again.

Due to better response from the readers during Sundays just after payday, I usually advertise during those times. I have tried so many years before of advertising my paintings in the papers but I did not get good feedback. Now that I have a website http://art-nook.com/ I tried advertising again this time and see if I can sell paintings through it. But then, the telephone broke down. Also, it is the day of Pacquiao's fight which I forgot when I placed the ad. People would not bother to read the ads the morning of the fight. Well, it is Pacquiao's day, but not mine. Better luck next time.

Writer's Site

I subscribed to writersmarket.com, an on-line site that has a collection of names and contact addresses of book publishers and consumer magazines, that it displays alphabetically upon request. I am particularly interested in having my collection of poetry published. Some pay the minimal amount of $5 for each poem with some paying only with magazine copies. But some pays as much as $300.00 minimum per poem. Wow! If I can cook up two poems a day and if they will be willing to buy it I will earn $600.00 a day. That is approximately 27,000.00 php and 810,000.00 php a month. My family and I will live like royalties! That will be a welcome change. With no income and with the savings being drained out slowly, that is a much needed break. Wishful thinking! But dreams are meant to be indulged in. That supplies the much needed drive of any aspiring writer to keep on producing. But the problem with my talents is that I have too little of everything. A little bit of talent in writing, and a little bit of talent in painting and a little bit of talent with numbers. Jack-of-all-trade, a genius in none. Imagine, if all of these talents were concentrated in one I will be famous by now! Well, God has his reasons and things will come in His own time. I am willing to wait even if it takes forever.

Painting Again

I am so glad that I have this inspiration to paint again. This time, I am doing The Sacred Heart Of Jesus and Immaculate Heart Of Mary. I outlined in pencil the Sacred Heart Of Jesus and I am so happy that it came out beautiful. One problem though is I have difficulty in drawing the hands, which is usually the most difficult in painting a portrait. After several erasures, my son is not too happy with the outcome yet. Maybe I will have better luck tomorrow. But I am happy with the face of Jesus already which exudes holiness. I had my share in the past of painting Holy images. I painted Saint Claret, Mama Mary with the child Jesus, and the crucifixion for Claret Seminary. Also, I painted a priest during consecration with Jesus at the background for an Indian priest who was a friend. For Santa Rafaela House Of Spirituality, I painted a Lady, worshipping God, with the Bible in her hands. I also painted the Holy Family which I donated for the raffle in celebration for the Feast Of San Bartolome, or Saint Bartholomew, one of the apostles of Jesus. He described the apostle as "without guile"...

Painting Holy Images makes one meditate. The act of painting itself becomes an offering to God. It is like returning back to Him the fruits of the talents that God has endowed a person with. I think I will go back to painting Holy Images again which gave me so much joy before.

The Tasks Are Too Many

The tasks are too many
They seem to defeat me
I must return to the fore
And get my rightful score

Must have everything done
All that is under the sun
Every deed must I accomplish
Each chore done to the finish

There is no chance to tarry
Even though I am weary
Every step I must plan
In accordance to the Mighty One

Alternative Medicine For Cancer

My husband was diagnosed to have stage III cancer of the Tongue last February 2. The doctor said that the best treatment was for him to cut off Art's tongue before he will undergo chemotherapy and radiation. Or he will just undergo chemo and radiation without his tongue being cut off but his chance of survival will be much less. My husband refused to have his tongue cut off nor subject himself to the conventional treatment and instead opted for the alternative medicine my son and I researched in the internet. He is given twice a day, together with his lunch and dinner, asparagus, brocolli, cauliflower, carrots, and guyabano fruits (sour sop) The vegetables are steamed and is processed in the blender, with very little water. They are served individually in separate glasses for them to retain the original taste. They are very good and Art is enjoying in taking them. For his drinking water the whole day, he is taking lemon grass tea. Besides these, we ordered from the States Apricot seeds. Three seeds are grinded and given to him every hour. We also ordered Essiac Tea, a medicine, composed of 4 herbs, discovered by a native Indian in the 17th century which was passed on to a nurse who in turn passed it on to others. Essiac and Apricot seeds are supposed to reduce the size of the tumor and cure the cancer also. With all these and with prayers, we hope to battle this dreadful disease.

Way Of The Cross

I am so happy that I was able to help organize the Way Of The Cross that was held in our subdivision last Palm Sunday, March 5. I arranged for the priest that lead us in the prayers and provided for his transportation. I also looked for a megaphone to borrow to be used in the affair. The fourteen stations commemorated the passion of Christ up to his death and ressurection. We were assigned in our house the 5th station where Jesus Received the Cross. We started with the first station at the house of the organizer, where a picture of the first station, the Last Supper was displayed at the gate on a table with white linens, flowers, and lighted candles. The host read the first station using a booklet guide and the crowd answered, reading the guide also. The crowd sang at the end of the reading. Then the crowd walked to the next station, on the gate of another house, and recited the rosary while walking. When it was time for the fifth station at our house, my son lead the prayers. After the fourteen stations, the crowd gathered at the multipurpose hall of the subdivision, where the final prayers was lead by the priest, who also delivered some sermon on the importance of meditating on the passion of Christ.

The Fourteen Stations are the following:

I. First Station, The Last Supper
II. Second Station, The Agony In The Garden
III. Third Station, Jesus Before The Sanhedrin
IV. Fourth Station, The Scourging And Crowning With Thorns
V. Fifth Station, Jesus Receives The Cross
VI. Sixth Station, Jesus Falls Under The Weight Of The Cross
VII. Seventh Station, Simon Of Cyrene Carries The Cross Of Jesus
VIII.Eight Station, Jesus Meets The Pious Women Of Jerusalem
IX. Ninth Station, Jesus Is Nailed To The Cross
X. Tenth Station, The Repentant Thief
XI. Eleventh Station, Mary And John At The Foot Of The Cross
XII. Twelfth Station, Jesus Dies On The Cross
XIII.Thirteenth Station, Jesus Is Laid In The Tomb
XIV. Fourteenth Station, Jesus Rises From The Dead

The Station Of The Cross are usually prayed by the Catholic family in the church, in front of the images of the different stations, before or after the mass. This is the way of the faithful of meditating on the passion, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, during the lenten season.

Father Faller, The Healing Priest

I posted my last blog entry "The Healing Priest" on fanstory.com, an online membership site where members can post their literary works for review and comments by other members. It got good reviews, save one review where it said that I did not expound on the healing I experienced under Father Faller. I intentionally left it hanging because I intended to write a sequel to it. So, here it is.

My husband has stage III Cancer of the tongue and we have sought healing through alternative medicine and through faith healing. One friend of my husband was telling us of a Father Faller, a priest faith healer, from Lucban Quezon, which is a five-hour drive from our place, including the traffic. When we mentioned it to another friend, she said that he visits Christ the King church to officiate healing prayers. We were able to attend one healing prayer of him at Christ the King Church that started at 8:00 PM and ended at 10:300.

One of the healing I sought was spiritual healing. I consider myself a devout Catholic but sometimes, I am just defeated by unholy thoughts that I sometimes cannot seem to control even during praying and religious rites. After the mass, the Holy Eucharist was exposed and was held by Father Faller and brought before the presence of those who attented the mass, with them kneeling down. The Holy Eucharist is the big consecrated Host which has been transformed to the body of Christ during the mass and is held in a golden receptacle called monstrance.
And when the priest was about to turn to our side, I could still not control those unholy thoughts. God must have been reading my mind because Father Faller did not continue bringing the Holy Eucharist to my presence and he turned to the other side instead. Finally, when the other sides were finished adoring the Holy Eucharist and with my mind more subdued, it was brought before me. Afterwards Father Faller prayed for healing for all those who lined up to be blessed by him. I prayed for Spiritual Healing.

The next time we sought healing from him was at Buklod Healing Center, a place near Christ the King also. (Buklod means union). After the mass, the Holy Eucharist was exposed and brought again before the presence of those who attended the healing mass. I had the opportunity of beholding its presence twice, this time, with clear Godly thoughts. Then, all people were asked to go in front, row by row, and I witnessed all those touched by him being "slain". Slain is the Catholic term for those touched by the Holy Spirit after being prayed over, who falls down straight backwards to the floor without being hurt. When my turn came, I was asked to hold my hands, one on top of the other, in front and he placed his hand lightly over mine and I had this uncontrollable feeling overpowering me that caused me to fall down slowly backwards without being hurt. I prayed mostly for spiritual healing and those unholy thoughts stopped coming since then. I also prayed for the healing of my husband, who lined up for healing too and who was also slain. He has not experienced any major healing yet, but through God's grace, and according to His will, we will never tire to seek healing from Jesus Christ, through Father Faller.

The Healing Priest

His name is Father Faller (pronounced as Father Palyer). He heads a healing ministry called KAMAY NI JESUS, (or Hand of Jesus). The location is in Lucban, Quezon. You can research through the internet about the place. It is known for the image "The Risen Christ", which can be seen from miles away. It stucked in my mind because as I have seen in the internet, it is the same as the image I have at home, with Jesus fully clothed in white, with red cape, and with outstretched hands reaching for Heaven. I didn't know before how to call the image whether it was "Resurrection" or "Ascension". Now I know that it is called "The Risen Christ". And the name KAMAY NI JESUS, why did it stick in my mind? Because the same image I have at home lost the left hand years ago, since it is detachable. The image is made of fiberglass, which is also used for insulation (explains my husband's claim that it does not burn). I called up shops before how much it would cost me to have it restored. It came out to be almost the same amount as I bought it. So, the image was displayed at our home with the left hand missing because that time it was already unaffordable for me.

When my husband got sick with cancer, I thought maybe it is God's way of reminding us of things, some of which we took for granted. Then I thought of the missing hand of Jesus. Something came up that lead me to a wood carver, who specializes in Holy images. I was given a quotation after seeing the image, of an amount less than half the purchase price of the image years back. He said he will carve the hand on wood and paint the whole image. The job was done beautifully and perfectly. A perfect offering for a perfect God.

I have not gone to KAMAY NI JESUS, but I have experienced the healing power of Jesus through Father Faller twice. The first was at Christ The King Church at E. Rodriguez, Quezon City and the second was at Buklod ng Pag-ibig Healing Center somewhere in E. Rodriguez too. These are two healing ministries in Quezon City that he visits on schedule. He is based in Lucban.

2,000 Hail Mary

On my birthday on March 14, I hosted 2,000 Hail Mary's at home. There were around seventeen of us taking turns in praying the rosary with 20 mysteries including the light mysteries and 2,000 Hail Mary's the whole day. Each took turns in leading the prayer of 100 Hail Mary's with one "glory be" at the end of the prayer beads. Before praying the Hail Mary's, the leader lights one of the 20 candles and read the general petitions to Mama Mary for the whole world before leading the prayer of 100 Hail Mary. The event normally finishes at 5:00-6:00 PM with the start at 8:00 AM. When we have a break for lunch at 12:00, the Angelus is prayed. There is another break at 3:00 PM to pray the Divine Mercy.

The Angelus prayer consists of 3 Hail Mary's and at the end, the phrase "Pour forth we beseech thee O Lord, Your grace into our hearts, that we to whom the incarnation of Christ Your Son, was made known by the message of an angel, may by His passion and cross, be brought to the glory of His ressurection through the same Christ our Lord, amen." The prayer of the Divine mercy is a prayer to the Father, offering the sacrifices of Christ on the cross to Him, in attonement for our sins and that of the whole world. These prayers are repeated several times using the beads of the rosary as a guide. These are normally prayed every three o'clock by devout Catholics.

All those who attend the event writes in a piece of paper their personal petitions which are collected in a pot at the foot of the altar. These personal petitions are burned while singing the "Our Father" by the group, forming a circle holding hands around the burning pot at the end of the day. The image of Mama Mary stays with the host for one month who prays the rosary with the family before it nightly. The image visits one house for one month. The image is rotated to different houses for the whole year. I normally host the whole day prayer every March since it is the month of my birthday, and provide a home for the image for the whole month of March. I find that petitions to Mama Mary through the 2,000 Hail Mary are usually granted by the Lady. I prayed mostly for the healing for my husband Art.

For This You Must Be Chosen

Man's term on Earth is but tempory
From this life we will all go thereafter
God must have a way to call you and me
Once our mission is done, we live forever

How our end will come is God's choosing
Through an illness or calamity we know not
The Lord selects each of us to his wing
We must all go willingly without a doubt

Our God must have chosen you for this
With Cancer you remain to be an inspiration
You said "Let it be, if that is His wish"
Seeking cure, with the Almighty in Total Union

From His bounty you have chosen treatment
From nature's plants you opted to seek therapy
But leaving up to God if a cure is really meant
Seeking a Life After with Him through Eternity

This Day I Love Thee More

This day, I love thee more than I did before
You become more lovable as each day comes
Being closer to God that you ardently adore
Accepting every blow as inspired by the Psalms

Today I felt more that you do really need me
Something before that was taken for granted
I say the Lord with this Cancer He tamed thee
Making me realize, you are all I ever wanted

I say that with God's Grace we will be the victor
With you healed or not is really God's choice
Sooner or later we'll be knocking at Heaven's door
In the Afterlife with God's presence forever rejoice

Praying With You Is A Blessing I Cherish

Praying with you is a blessing I cherish
Petitions to God that all our hearts can wish
Kneeling together before the sacred altar
We can say faithfully Heaven is not that far

Everyday, we fervently pray for a cure
The two of us every trial we will endure
Reading to you the prayers as you intently listen
Thru your faith, for this illness, you must be chosen

Cancer is not enough to make you less of a man
Your strength is coming from the Mighty One
Going to church with you is something I relish
Walking away stronger as the ceremonies finish

Your Strength Will See Us Through

Witnessing your strength though your burden is heavy
Keeps me going on without fear in spite of this adversity
Everyday I see the yoke of cancer corrupting your body
Yet not a single word of complaint though you are weary

Though death may not be far you still remain strong
Your words I will cling to forever like a sweet song
To God's will you say, your future really does belong
With your strength and courage nothing could go wrong

There is no room for questions and to ask God "Why?"
Not to admit my feelings of weakening at times is a lie
Added years on Earth is time we attempt to buy
Hope from alternative treatment we cannot deny

Today I almost Cried

Today I almost cried with misty tears in my eyes
Staring at our picture together in earlier years
Feeling melancholy though without the "Why's"
Trust in God makes us face tomorrow without fears

Today I almost cried, holding back the tears
Watching you asleep unmindful of your illness
Remembering days with you with all the cheers
All the long years together that God did bless

Today I almost cried holding your hand
Walking to the church entrance to hear mass
Your courage is enough to make us both stand
Undaunted and trusting in God's plan for us

Each Day A Blessing

Each day that you are around is a blessing
Feeling all the joy that your presence does bring
Will keep me through all these hardship and pain
With God's grace and goodness pouring in like rain

You are God's present each coming of the day
Giving me happiness in whatever way
Waiting on you in all your want and need
Each command and request with pleasure I heed

Your quiet presence is enough to keep me going
Forgetting the pain that Cancer does bring
Your show of Faith in God keeps me inspired
In taking care of you I will never be tired

Alternative Treatment For Cancer

Art decided not to go under conventional treatment anymore because of the side effects of chemotherapy and radiation. He is now on alternative medicine. He takes guyabano (soursop), asparagus, and lemon grass (tanglad) juices morning and evening. Some friends told us that these are effective cancer cures. In fact the internet is telling us that guyabano is 10,000 times more effective than chemotherapy in killing the cancer cells without destroying the good cells of the body. The asparagus was able to totally heal a man of cancer within three months, according to the email of a friend. And tanglad juice has good cleansing effect. The write-ups in the internet about the effective cure these food bring are very promising.

The attitude of Archie, my son touched me. He is in the internet researching for cures most of his waking hours. "I cannot just sit back and watch my father die. I have to do something," he says. It is the primary factor in keeping up the hopes of my husband in surviving his cancer, my son's zeal in finding a cure for his father.

A Poem I Have Written For My Husband

My Life, My Love

What would I do without you?
For years we have been together
Waking up each morning with you around
I couldn't ask for more and be happier

God has been kind to bring you to me
Through you I am happy with my life
Your presence graced my whole being
I could not be a more contented wife

Now with your life threatening Cancer
The danger of losing you haunts me
The strenght you show in this trying time
Will forever from now on keep me company

"If that is what God wants, let it be"
Your words have been my consolation
"I leave everything to God," you said
This gives me hope in this tribulation

In this late years I know it won't be long
Before God will call us to His Kingdom
The thought of meeting you there later on
Will console us though death may come

Feeling of Defeat

Consequences of Art's illness is starting to creep into me. It is giving me a little feeling of defeat and I am not liking it. I have to get over these feelings. Friends have been very kind and symphatetic and it is making things easier for us. But when I am left alone to myself already, worries start to sip in. But the thought of God's mercy and love taking over our lives once we surrender everything to Him gives me strenght. And witnessing my husband's bravery and Faith in this trying times has been my source of inspiration and hope.

It is Cancer

It is cancer. My husband's tumor is malignant. He underwent CT Scan this morning to know the extent of his cancer. Tomorrow, an specialist from the States will examine him for a second opinion. Dr. Opulencia, his doctor believes that all of his tongue should be cut off. The specialist from the States will see if he can be cured through cobalt and chemotherapy without cutting his tongue. My husband Art said that if his tongue will be cut off, he will not undergo treatment anymore. He doesn't want to go on living without being able to socialize and tasting his food. We need all the prayers that can be offered for him.

Art's Tumor

I can hardly wait for Monday, when we will go to Art's doctor and know the result of the biopsy. My husband is taking it nicely, not showing any sign of uneasiness. Benign or not, he has to go under cobalt treatment to reduce the size. The doctors does not want to give us any idea yet how much it could possibly cost. The EENT especialist said that we will discuss it once the result of the biopsy is out. It could cost a lot, especially with the fact that we don't have any medical insurance except for Philhealth, which is given out to SSS retirees and which is not very much. But I know God will take care of everything. God will provide.

Not too Bad

It is Saturday and it's time for my grand daughter Tiara's visit. She came with my son and her nanny at 4:30 PM and would you believe, with glasses. My son is vehement about correcting her Lazy Eye and wanted her to be fitted with corrective glasses. What she has now still has to be graded. According to the pediatrician. Lazy Eye can be corrected through eye drops and eye glasses. Well, she has one now but still with colors and without grades. I must say it becomes her. It is not too bad after all.

My Husband's Tumor

Art was found to have a big tumor under his tongue and at it's base last Monday when we saw an EENT Specialist. He subjected him to Endoscopy that enabled the doctor to see it. The monitor was played back and we saw the tumor on the screen. The doctor scheduled him for biopsy Monday morning. If it is benign, the growth can be arrested through cobalt treatment. If it is malignant and serious, they might have to cut his tongue and he will be subjected to cobalt treatment or chemotheraphy, I am not very sure yet which of which. We will find out one week after the biopsy, depending on the findings of the doctors. Let us just pray that it is nothing serious.

Perfect Imperfection

My visiting grand daughter Tiara told us that her pediatrician wants to correct her "Lazy Eye" by her wearing glasses to which I openly disagreed. "Lazy Eye" means a little cross-eyed. Her dad and myself both have Lazy Eyes and it was never corrected. That is what makes us unique and (ahem) attractive. I told her that she should not cover her eyes by wearing glasses because she has such beautiful eyes. And she beamed one of her sweetest smiles.

Modern technology is now trying to erase imperfections some of which I call perfect because they give an appeal to the person who has it. Like buck teeth for example is now being corrected through dental braces. The movie star Sandy Dennis is very appealing because of her buck teeth. I hope I remembered her name correctly. She belongs to my generation. Former Miss Universe Gloria Diaz, a Filipina has buck teeth.

Another is flat chest. Women now wants to have implants to have bigger breasts. I think that is very selfish. They are not thinking of their would be babies whom they might have to breastfeed in the future. Models are flat-chested and they have perfect figure to parade.

Another object of "landscaping" is the nose. Paul Anka's nose used to be his appeal. I found him very attractive and my idol in my teens until he had his nose job. But at least, he still sings beautifully and composing brilliantly now.

"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder". Some imperfections in our features could be our asset. I call them "perfect imperfections"

Writing Poems for a Contest

I just finished two love poems for a Valentine poetry writing contest in the internet. One poem is a love poem which should be less than 15 words. It did not get good reviews from the very new members because I did not write an author's notes which should have explained that it is supposed to be short. The other contest calls for a poem where the first letter of every line should spell out a word. I chose to write for the word "DARLING" because that is what my husband and I call each other. It got better reviews. In fact, one reviewer even asked me to write a poem for his girlfriend. I am flattered.

Blogging

I was about to update my profile when it was intercepted by a blog that manages other blogs. Then my profile cannot be viewed in my blog anymore. Well maybe the readers of my blog will just have to wait until I find out what is wrong.

Paul the Apostle

We had our Bible Study last night and our topic was the conversion of Paul the apostle, Acts 9: verses 1-21, the gospel reading for the coming Sunday, January 25. We are guided spiritually by a Claretian priest during our weekly meetings in our Bible study.

Saint Paul the Apostle was formerly Saul, a soldier who had been persecuting Christians after Jesus died. He became blind one day after hearing the voice of Jesus. He was cured by Ananias, a disciple in Damascus, after three days. Jesus appeared in a vision to Ananias telling him to look for the blinded Saul. Jesus said that he will baptize him as Paul, whom he chooses to spread His Word to the Pagans. After being baptized as Paul, he was able to see and was filled with the Holy Spirit which guided him in spreading the Good News of Salvation.

writing on an online site

I stopped for a while my subscription at fanstory.com, an online membership writing community, where writers can post their work for review, corrections and comments by other readers. Then, I found myself depressed again, which usually happens when not occupied with anything especially writing and painting. I am an aspiring writer/poet, artist, and art dealer. Before, I had only a monthly subscription. Now that I renewed, I upgraded to a three-year subscription where cost is reduced to I think less than a third. Well, that is much cheaper than seeing a counselor or a psychiatrist, or going out or shopping. I find that writing at the site is very therapeutic, just like writing a blog. But there, your work can be graded and can usually receive 3 reviews or more. Also, you can join free writing contests where prizes are given out, sometimes as high as $100.00, although I have not won any prize yet after being a member for almost 9 months. Well, I am very new to writing and is still learning. I am hoping of winning a contest soon.

Sold A Painting Again

I sold a painting again at Ebay.ph. It is a moderately expensive painting done by the renowned artist Fernando Sena. He was my teacher back in the 80's yet and now I sell his paintings. He is a much publisized artist and has held countless one-man shows.

I retired from my computer job in 1981 to take care of my only child Archie. To keep me busy and to develop a new career, I started attending painting lessons at UST, as a sit-in student for 2 semesters and tried to develop the skill in painting. One day in 1985, I chanced to read in the papers about the exhibit of Ben Sabio, an accountant who had a training with Sena for one year. I went to City Gallery where the exhibit was and I saw he had very beautiful paintings and it was almost all sold out. I asked from the lady minding the exhibit how I can get in touch with Mr. Sena and started to track him down. Then I began attending several sessions with him and found that painting could be a very fulfilling hobby. Now, I see the hope of earning from it professionaly. God does provide.

Sold A Painting

With the closing of the old year, I sold a painting at Ebay. I cannot consider selling at Ebay as a real bussiness yet because of the rarity of selling an item. I just post paintings for sale and enjoy attaching to my signature in my emails the domain address art-nook.com where the paintings I carry are shown if one follows the link. Anyway, Ebay reduced their charge so there is no harm in posting. I will have to muster all the inspiration I need in order to start painting again. This is one dismay one can have in painting. If you stop painting for a while, your brain and hands forget the skill gained through the years. Someday, I intend to post some pictures of the paintings I carry and my own paintings in my blog.