Today I almost Cried

Today I almost cried with misty tears in my eyes
Staring at our picture together in earlier years
Feeling melancholy though without the "Why's"
Trust in God makes us face tomorrow without fears

Today I almost cried, holding back the tears
Watching you asleep unmindful of your illness
Remembering days with you with all the cheers
All the long years together that God did bless

Today I almost cried holding your hand
Walking to the church entrance to hear mass
Your courage is enough to make us both stand
Undaunted and trusting in God's plan for us

Each Day A Blessing

Each day that you are around is a blessing
Feeling all the joy that your presence does bring
Will keep me through all these hardship and pain
With God's grace and goodness pouring in like rain

You are God's present each coming of the day
Giving me happiness in whatever way
Waiting on you in all your want and need
Each command and request with pleasure I heed

Your quiet presence is enough to keep me going
Forgetting the pain that Cancer does bring
Your show of Faith in God keeps me inspired
In taking care of you I will never be tired

Alternative Treatment For Cancer

Art decided not to go under conventional treatment anymore because of the side effects of chemotherapy and radiation. He is now on alternative medicine. He takes guyabano (soursop), asparagus, and lemon grass (tanglad) juices morning and evening. Some friends told us that these are effective cancer cures. In fact the internet is telling us that guyabano is 10,000 times more effective than chemotherapy in killing the cancer cells without destroying the good cells of the body. The asparagus was able to totally heal a man of cancer within three months, according to the email of a friend. And tanglad juice has good cleansing effect. The write-ups in the internet about the effective cure these food bring are very promising.

The attitude of Archie, my son touched me. He is in the internet researching for cures most of his waking hours. "I cannot just sit back and watch my father die. I have to do something," he says. It is the primary factor in keeping up the hopes of my husband in surviving his cancer, my son's zeal in finding a cure for his father.

A Poem I Have Written For My Husband

My Life, My Love

What would I do without you?
For years we have been together
Waking up each morning with you around
I couldn't ask for more and be happier

God has been kind to bring you to me
Through you I am happy with my life
Your presence graced my whole being
I could not be a more contented wife

Now with your life threatening Cancer
The danger of losing you haunts me
The strenght you show in this trying time
Will forever from now on keep me company

"If that is what God wants, let it be"
Your words have been my consolation
"I leave everything to God," you said
This gives me hope in this tribulation

In this late years I know it won't be long
Before God will call us to His Kingdom
The thought of meeting you there later on
Will console us though death may come

Feeling of Defeat

Consequences of Art's illness is starting to creep into me. It is giving me a little feeling of defeat and I am not liking it. I have to get over these feelings. Friends have been very kind and symphatetic and it is making things easier for us. But when I am left alone to myself already, worries start to sip in. But the thought of God's mercy and love taking over our lives once we surrender everything to Him gives me strenght. And witnessing my husband's bravery and Faith in this trying times has been my source of inspiration and hope.

It is Cancer

It is cancer. My husband's tumor is malignant. He underwent CT Scan this morning to know the extent of his cancer. Tomorrow, an specialist from the States will examine him for a second opinion. Dr. Opulencia, his doctor believes that all of his tongue should be cut off. The specialist from the States will see if he can be cured through cobalt and chemotherapy without cutting his tongue. My husband Art said that if his tongue will be cut off, he will not undergo treatment anymore. He doesn't want to go on living without being able to socialize and tasting his food. We need all the prayers that can be offered for him.

Art's Tumor

I can hardly wait for Monday, when we will go to Art's doctor and know the result of the biopsy. My husband is taking it nicely, not showing any sign of uneasiness. Benign or not, he has to go under cobalt treatment to reduce the size. The doctors does not want to give us any idea yet how much it could possibly cost. The EENT especialist said that we will discuss it once the result of the biopsy is out. It could cost a lot, especially with the fact that we don't have any medical insurance except for Philhealth, which is given out to SSS retirees and which is not very much. But I know God will take care of everything. God will provide.